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Why Do I Hate Myself? Understanding Self-Hate and How to Overcome It

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October 19, 2026

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Why Do I Hate Myself? Understanding Self-Hate and How to Overcome It

If you're thinking about hurting yourself or ending your life, please reach out now. Call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, or chat at 988lifeline.org. If you're in immediate danger, call 911. You don't have to be in a full crisis to call. Talking to someone tonight is reason enough.

If you typed "I hate myself" into a search bar, you're not the only one. Thousands of people do every month. Sometimes it's a passing thought after a bad day. Sometimes it's a constant voice that's been there for years. Either way, the feeling is real, and it hurts.

Hating yourself is a feeling, not a fact about who you are. Very often it's a symptom, of depression, of old experiences, or of a mind that learned to be harsh with itself. Symptoms can be treated.

Why do I hate myself?

Self-hatred rarely has a single cause. Common roots include:

  • Harsh criticism growing up. If the adults around you were critical, dismissive, or rarely satisfied, you may have learned to talk to yourself the same way.
  • Trauma or abuse. Painful experiences can leave a belief that you were somehow to blame, or that you're damaged.
  • Perfectionism. When the bar is impossibly high, every ordinary mistake feels like proof that you're not enough.
  • Comparison. Measuring yourself against other people's highlight reels, online or off, can make your own life look like a failure.
  • Depression. Sometimes the self-hatred comes first. Sometimes depression comes first and brings the self-hatred with it.

The link to depression runs both ways. A 2013 meta-analysis of 77 longitudinal studies, published in Psychological Bulletin, found that low self-esteem predicted later depression, and depression also eroded self-esteem, though the first effect was stronger. A harsh view of yourself is a risk factor to take seriously, not a personality quirk.

When self-hatred is a symptom

Self-hatred is a core part of several mental health conditions:

  • Depression. The NIMH lists feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness among the common symptoms of depression, alongside persistent sadness or emptiness, loss of interest, fatigue, and changes in sleep or appetite. Major depression involves symptoms most of the time for at least two weeks.
  • Borderline personality disorder (BPD). The NIMH notes that BPD involves an unstable or distorted self-image and chronic feelings of emptiness. In some people, intense emotion turns inward as constant self-blame, something we've written about in quiet BPD.

If your self-hatred comes with low mood that won't lift, loss of interest in things you used to enjoy, or thoughts of not wanting to be here, it may be depression talking. That's not a weakness. It's a treatable condition.

Signs of self-hatred

  • Constant self-criticism, even for small mistakes
  • Brushing off compliments or not believing them
  • Undermining your own success or relationships
  • Feeling like a burden to the people around you
  • Apologizing for things that aren't your fault
  • Neglecting basic needs like food, sleep, or hygiene
  • Pulling away from people because you feel you don't deserve them

Feeling like a burden deserves special attention. It's one of the NIMH's warning signs of suicide, along with talking about wanting to die, feeling hopeless or trapped, and withdrawing from friends. If that's where you are, please call or text 988.

"Why do I hate myself even though I have a good life?"

This is one of the most common versions of the question, and one of the most painful. You look at your life, see a good job, people who care, no obvious disaster, and feel guilty for feeling this way on top of everything else.

Depression doesn't check your circumstances before it arrives. It can show up in a life that looks fine from the outside, and it can make you feel worthless no matter what you've accomplished. Having a good life doesn't mean you don't deserve help.

What helps right now

When self-hatred spikes, the goal isn't to argue yourself out of it. It's to get through the next few minutes:

  • Slow your breathing. Breathe in for a count of four, hold for four, breathe out for four. Repeat for a few minutes.
  • Ground yourself. Name five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste.
  • Change the scene. Step outside, take a shower, or move to a different room.
  • Reach one person. Text a friend, call a family member, or call or text 988. You don't need the perfect words.

These won't fix the underlying pattern. They interrupt the spiral so you can get to the next step.

What helps over time

Self-compassion practices. Self-compassion means treating yourself with the kindness you'd offer a friend, and it can be learned. A 2023 meta-analysis of 56 randomized trials found that self-compassion interventions had small to medium effects on depressive symptoms, anxiety, and stress. A 2022 meta-analysis of 19 randomized trials with 1,350 participants found they produced a medium reduction in self-criticism specifically. In both cases, the authors noted that study quality was mixed.

Therapy. Psychotherapy, as the NIMH describes, helps people with depression by teaching new ways of thinking and behaving and changing habits that feed the depression. Approaches such as cognitive behavioral therapy and compassion-focused therapy are designed to work directly on the harsh inner voice.

Treating what's underneath. If self-hatred is part of depression, BPD, or trauma, treating that condition is often what finally quiets it. For moderate or severe depression, the NIMH notes that medication is usually part of the initial treatment plan.

Connection. Self-hatred thrives in isolation and tells you to pull away. Small, regular contact with people who are kind to you works against it, even when it feels pointless at first.

When to get professional help

Reach out for professional support if:

  • Self-hatred is affecting your work, relationships, or ability to take care of yourself
  • It comes with persistent low mood, emptiness, or loss of interest
  • You've tried to manage it on your own and it isn't easing
  • You have any thoughts of self-harm or suicide (call or text 988 now)

At Amae Health, our clinics specialize in conditions including Major Depressive Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, and suicidal thoughts and attempts. Our care teams bring psychiatrists, therapists, primary care physicians, peer mentors, and care coordinators under one roof, working from one treatment plan. For people who need more than a weekly appointment, we offer an Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) and a Partial Hospitalization Program (PHP). If asking for help feels hard, our article on how to ask for help when depressed walks through it.

Frequently asked questions

Is it normal to hate yourself?

Many people feel self-hatred at some point, especially during hard times. But constant self-hatred isn't something you should have to live with. When it's persistent, it's often linked to depression or other conditions that respond to treatment.

Why do I hate myself so much?

Intense self-hatred usually grows from a mix of factors: harsh criticism early in life, trauma, perfectionism, comparison, and often depression. Depression in particular can make feelings of worthlessness feel overwhelming and permanent, even though they aren't.

Can self-hatred be a sign of depression?

Yes. Feelings of worthlessness and guilt are common symptoms of depression. If self-hatred comes with low mood, loss of interest, fatigue, or changes in sleep or appetite, a mental health evaluation can help sort out what's going on.

How do I stop hating myself?

In the moment, slowing your breathing, grounding yourself, and reaching out to one person can interrupt the spiral. Over time, self-compassion practice, therapy, and treating any underlying depression are what make lasting change. It takes time, and setbacks are normal.

Key takeaways

  • If you're thinking about hurting yourself, call or text 988 now.
  • Self-hatred is a feeling, often a symptom, not the truth about who you are.
  • It's closely linked to depression, and the link runs both ways.
  • Short-term tools can get you through a spike. Self-compassion work, therapy, and treating underlying conditions make lasting change.

If self-hatred has become a constant companion, for you or someone you love, request an intake appointment. Our team will explain how an evaluation works and what the first visit involves. And if you're in crisis right now, call or text 988.

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Mood Stabilizers for Depression and Anxiety: What You Need to Know

By

Sonia Garcia

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October 27, 2026

Maybe a psychiatrist mentioned a mood stabilizer and you're trying to understand what that means. Maybe you've read that they help with depression or anxiety and you're wondering whether that's true. Mood stabilizers are a real and important group of medications, but their main job is narrower than a lot of online articles suggest.

According to the NIMH, mood stabilizers are typically used to treat bipolar disorder and mood changes associated with other mental disorders. They are sometimes added to other medications for depression. For anxiety disorders, other medications are usually the first choice.

What are mood stabilizers?

Mood stabilizers are medications that reduce extreme shifts in mood, especially the highs of mania and the lows of bipolar depression, and help prevent new episodes. The main groups are:

  • Lithium, which is approved for the treatment of mania and bipolar disorder
  • Certain anticonvulsants, medications first developed for seizures, such as valproic acid (Depakote) and lamotrigine (Lamictal)
  • Some antipsychotics, which are also used in bipolar disorder, though they aren't always called mood stabilizers

How do mood stabilizers work?

Lithium and the anticonvulsants act on the brain in different ways, which is part of why one person responds to lithium and another to an anticonvulsant. The NIMH notes, for example, that some anticonvulsants work better than lithium for people with "mixed" symptoms of mania and depression or with rapid-cycling bipolar disorder.

What matters most for patients is the effect: fewer and less severe mood episodes over time, rather than an immediate change in how you feel.

What mood stabilizers are used for

Bipolar disorder

This is the main use. According to MedlinePlus, lithium is used to treat and prevent episodes of mania in people with bipolar disorder. The NIMH adds that some studies indicate lithium may reduce the risk of suicide among people taking it for long-term maintenance.

For people with bipolar depression, the NIMH notes that health care providers typically prescribe a mood stabilizer along with an antidepressant to reduce the risk of switching into mania. We cover the full picture in effective bipolar disorder treatment and on our bipolar disorder treatment page.

Depression

The NIMH notes that mood stabilizers are sometimes used to treat depression, usually along with an antidepressant, or to augment the effect of other medications. That's an add-on role for specific situations, not a standard first treatment for depression. If depression has been severe or hard to treat, see what severe depression feels like.

Anxiety

Mood stabilizers aren't a standard treatment for anxiety disorders. According to the NIMH, anxiety is usually treated with antidepressants such as SSRIs and SNRIs, which health care providers typically start with for panic disorder and social anxiety disorder. Other options include buspirone, short-term benzodiazepines, and beta-blockers for physical symptoms. When anxiety comes with bipolar disorder, treating the bipolar disorder often matters most, which is where mood stabilizers come in.

Other uses

The NIMH also lists schizoaffective disorder and impulse-control disorders among the conditions where mood stabilizers are sometimes used.

Common mood stabilizers and their side effects

Lithium

Lithium needs close monitoring. The NIMH notes that people taking it generally have regular blood tests to check lithium levels and kidney and thyroid function, and MedlinePlus lists side effects including increased thirst, weight change, dry mouth, and stomach upset. Keeping lab appointments is part of taking lithium safely.

Lamotrigine (Lamictal)

According to MedlinePlus, lamotrigine is used to lengthen the time between mood episodes in people with bipolar I disorder. It hasn't been shown to treat an episode that's already happening. Its most important warning is a risk of rashes, including serious rashes that may need hospital treatment, which is why it's started at a low dose and increased slowly. MedlinePlus also notes that lamotrigine can make hormonal birth control less effective.

Valproic acid (Depakote)

Valproic acid is used to treat mania in bipolar disorder, according to MedlinePlus. It carries a serious warning for pregnancy: it can cause birth defects affecting the brain and spinal cord and can affect a child's learning and development. MedlinePlus advises women of childbearing age to discuss other possible treatments with their doctor.

Antipsychotics

Several antipsychotics are used in bipolar disorder. Their side effects differ, and some can affect weight, blood sugar, and cholesterol, so physical health monitoring is part of treatment.

Mood stabilizers vs. antidepressants

  • Antidepressants treat depression and are also widely used for anxiety disorders. The NIMH notes they usually take 4 to 8 weeks to work.
  • Mood stabilizers are mainly used to prevent and treat the highs and lows of bipolar disorder.

The difference matters most when someone might have bipolar disorder. That's why a careful evaluation of mood history, including any past periods of unusually high energy, little need for sleep, or racing thoughts, is an important part of choosing treatment.

What to know before and during treatment

  • Finding the right medication can take time. The NIMH notes that it may take several tries to find the medication that works best with the fewest side effects.
  • Don't stop suddenly. Changes to mood stabilizers should be made with a health care provider, because stopping abruptly can bring symptoms back.
  • Monitoring is part of the treatment. Lithium and several anticonvulsants need regular blood tests.
  • Pregnancy planning matters. Some mood stabilizers carry significant pregnancy risks, so family planning belongs in the treatment conversation.
  • Supplements aren't substitutes. Herbal products and supplements can interact with psychiatric medications, and none has been shown to replace a mood stabilizer for bipolar disorder. MedlinePlus lists interactions and warnings for common herbs and supplements.

How we approach medication at Amae Health

Bipolar Disorder and Major Depressive Disorder are among the conditions our clinics specialize in. Our psychiatrists manage medication as part of one treatment plan, alongside therapists, primary care physicians, dietitians, and care coordinators, so lab monitoring, side effects, and physical health are tracked together. For people who need more than weekly care, we offer an Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) and a Partial Hospitalization Program (PHP).

Frequently asked questions

Can mood stabilizers treat anxiety?

They aren't a standard treatment for anxiety disorders. The NIMH lists antidepressants such as SSRIs and SNRIs, buspirone, short-term benzodiazepines, and beta-blockers as the usual options. Mood stabilizers matter most when anxiety occurs alongside bipolar disorder.

Are mood stabilizers used for depression?

Sometimes. The NIMH notes they may be added to an antidepressant to boost its effect, and they're central to treating bipolar depression. They aren't a typical first treatment for depression on its own.

What is the most common mood stabilizer?

Lithium is approved for the treatment of mania and bipolar disorder, according to the NIMH. Lamotrigine and valproic acid are also widely used. Which one fits depends on the person's symptoms, history, and other health factors.

Do mood stabilizers change your personality?

They're meant to reduce extreme mood episodes, not change who you are. If a medication leaves you feeling flat or unlike yourself, that's important to raise with your prescriber, because dose adjustments or a different medication may help.

What happens if you stop taking a mood stabilizer suddenly?

Stopping abruptly can bring mood symptoms back. Any change should be planned with a health care provider.

Key takeaways

  • Mood stabilizers are mainly used to treat and prevent the highs and lows of bipolar disorder.
  • They're sometimes added to antidepressants for depression, but they aren't a standard treatment for anxiety disorders.
  • Lithium may reduce suicide risk with long-term use and needs regular blood tests. Lamotrigine carries a serious rash warning, and valproic acid carries serious pregnancy risks.
  • Medication works best with careful monitoring and as part of a broader treatment plan.

If you or someone you love is living with bipolar disorder or depression that hasn't responded to treatment, request an intake appointment. Our team will explain how an evaluation works and what the first visit involves.

# min read

Breaking Through the Stigma: Living with Psychosis

By

Sonia Garcia

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February 12, 2025

Psychotic conditions, such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, can be difficult to manage without proper treatment and support. Unfortunately, these conditions can often appear during adolescence and can be misunderstood and stigmatized, making it challenging for adolescents to seek help. If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, it’s important to understand the symptoms of psychosis and the treatment options that are available to you.

In this blog, we will explore common misconceptions surrounding psychotic disorders, symptoms of these conditions, coping strategies, the importance of medication and therapy, and how to find an adolescent mental health clinic near you.

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Understanding the Symptoms of Psychotic Disorders

Psychotic conditions in adolescents can manifest in a variety of ways. Symptoms may include hallucinations, delusions, disorganized speech or behavior, and difficulty with thinking or concentration. Some adolescents with psychotic disorders may also experience mood disturbances, such as depression or mania. These symptoms can be very distressing and can interfere with daily life and the ability to care for oneself. This highlights the importance of accessing care for psychosis as early as possible.

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Coping Strategies for Living with Psychotic Disorders

Living with psychosis can be challenging, but there are many coping strategies that can help. One of the most important things is to maintain a routine and a sense of structure in one’s daily life. This can include things like setting a regular sleep schedule, eating nutritious meals, and engaging in meaningful activities. It’s also important to have a support network of family, friends, or healthcare professionals who can offer emotional support and practical assistance, when needed.

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The Importance of Medication and Therapy in Managing Psychotic Disorders

Medication and therapy are essential components of managing adolescent psychotic disorders. Medications can help alleviate symptoms and improve overall quality of life, but finding the right medication and dosage can take time and adjustments may be required before landing on the right medication regimen. Therapy, such as cognitive behavioral therapy or psychoeducation, can help adolescents learn coping strategies, improve social skills, and manage symptoms. This highlights the importance of finding a mental health clinic that provides specialized treatment for adolescent mental health.

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Misconceptions and Stigmas Surrounding Psychotic Disorders

Adolescents with psychotic disorders often face discrimination, fear, and prejudice due to common misconceptions surrounding these conditions. One of the most prevalent stigmas is the belief that people with psychotic conditions are violent or dangerous. In fact, research has shown that when treated, adolescents with psychotic disorders are more likely to be victims of violence than perpetrators. Other misconceptions include the idea that adolescents with these conditions are lazy or lack motivation, or that they are unable to function in society. These misunderstandings are untrue and many people with psychosis recover and go on to live rich and fulfilling lives.

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Finding an Adolescent Mental Health Clinic Near You

Finding an adolescent mental health clinic near you is crucial for adolescents living with psychotic conditions. A clinic like Amae Health that specializes in psychosis, schizophrenia and bipolar disorder can provide tailored treatment and support to help manage symptoms of these conditions and improve overall quality of life. It’s important to connect with others who understand what you’re going through and can offer empathy, advice, and encouragement.

In summary, if you or someone you know is in need of care, it’s important to take action. At Amae Health, we’re ready to help and can help you get back on track with life. We can be reached by email at hello@amaehealth.com. By understanding the symptoms and finding an adolescent mental health clinic that provides specialized treatment, individuals with psychotic conditions can lead fulfilling and meaningful lives.

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# min read

What is the Best Treatment for Schizophrenia?

By

Sonia Garcia

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October 28, 2026

When someone you love is diagnosed with schizophrenia, the first questions usually come fast. What actually works? Is there a cure? Will they be on medication forever? The answer is more hopeful than many families expect, and more complicated than a single "best" option.

The best treatment for schizophrenia isn't one medication or one therapy. It's a combination: antipsychotic medication to reduce psychotic symptoms, psychosocial treatments to rebuild daily life, support for the family, and, for people early in the illness, a coordinated team that brings all of it together. Treatment works best when it starts early and continues over time.

Can schizophrenia be cured?

There's no cure for schizophrenia in the sense of a treatment that makes it disappear permanently. But recovery is possible, and more common than many people realize. According to the WHO, at least one in three people with schizophrenia will be able to fully recover.

The goal of treatment, as the NIMH describes it, is to help people manage their symptoms, improve day-to-day functioning, and reach personal goals such as finishing school, working, and having fulfilling relationships.

People often search for "how to cure schizophrenia permanently." Be wary of any program, supplement, or provider that promises a permanent cure. The approaches below are the ones with evidence behind them.

Antipsychotic medication

Antipsychotics are the foundation of treatment for most people with schizophrenia. According to the NIMH, they can make psychotic symptoms such as hallucinations and delusions less intense and less frequent. Most are taken daily as a pill or liquid. Some come as an injection given once or twice a month.

Is there a "best" medication for schizophrenia?

No single antipsychotic is best for everyone. People respond differently, and the NIMH notes that some people need to try several medications before finding the one that works best for them.

The bigger differences between antipsychotics are often in side effects. The NIMH lists weight gain, dry mouth, restlessness, and drowsiness as common early side effects. A 2020 network meta-analysis in The Lancet Psychiatry of 100 trials and 25,952 patients compared 18 antipsychotics and found large differences in their effects on weight, cholesterol, and blood sugar. Clozapine and olanzapine were among those with the largest metabolic changes. That's one reason medication choice is individual, and why physical health monitoring matters during treatment.

The NIMH also advises against stopping an antipsychotic without talking to a health care provider first, so that changes can be made safely.

Clozapine for treatment-resistant schizophrenia

When symptoms don't improve with usual antipsychotics, the NIMH notes that clozapine may be prescribed. People taking clozapine need regular blood tests to check for a potentially dangerous side effect that occurs in 1% to 2% of patients.

Long-acting injectable antipsychotics

Long-acting injectables (LAIs) are given every few weeks or months rather than taken daily. A 2021 meta-analysis in The Lancet Psychiatry of 137 studies with nearly 400,000 patients found that LAIs were associated with a lower risk of hospitalization or relapse than oral antipsychotics across randomized trials, cohort studies, and before-and-after studies. The difference was modest in randomized trials and larger in real-world data.

Psychosocial treatments

Medication reduces psychotic symptoms. It doesn't, on its own, rebuild a life. According to the NIMH, people who take part in regular psychosocial treatment are less likely to have symptoms come back or to be hospitalized. Examples include:

  • Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): helps people work with distressing beliefs and voices and build coping strategies
  • Behavioral skills training: builds social and daily living skills
  • Supported employment: helps people find and keep jobs
  • Cognitive remediation: targets attention, memory, and problem-solving, which the NIMH notes are among the best predictors of day-to-day functioning

Family education and support

Schizophrenia affects the whole family. The NIMH notes that educational programs help family and friends understand symptoms and treatment options, manage their own distress, and support their loved one more effectively.

Treatment for co-occurring substance use

Many people with schizophrenia also use drugs or alcohol. The NIMH emphasizes that treating both together matters, because substance use can interfere with treatment for schizophrenia.

Coordinated specialty care for early psychosis

For people early in the illness, coordinated specialty care (CSC) is the model with the strongest support. It's a team approach for first-episode psychosis that combines psychotherapy, medication, case management, employment and education services, and family education and support, with the person involved in every treatment decision. According to the NIMH, compared with typical care, CSC is more effective in reducing symptoms, improving quality of life, and increasing involvement in work or school.

For people who are likely to face repeated hospitalizations or homelessness, assertive community treatment brings a team of providers to the person in the community.

Why early treatment matters

Timing changes outcomes. The NIMH notes that people with psychosis often have symptoms for more than a year before getting treatment, and that early treatment often means better recovery. If you're seeing early warning signs, such as withdrawal, suspiciousness, or a drop in functioning, an evaluation shouldn't wait. Our article on psychosis vs. schizophrenia covers those signs in more detail.

How we treat schizophrenia at Amae Health

Schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder, and first-episode psychosis are among the conditions our clinics specialize in. Our care teams bring psychiatrists, therapists, primary care physicians, dietitians, peer mentors, and care coordinators under one roof, working from one treatment plan. That means medication, therapy, physical health, and practical support are handled together. For people who need more than weekly care, we offer an Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) and a Partial Hospitalization Program (PHP). For a broader overview, see schizophrenia treatment options.

Frequently asked questions

Can schizophrenia be cured?

There's no permanent cure, but recovery is possible. The WHO reports that at least one in three people with schizophrenia will be able to fully recover, and treatment aims to help people manage symptoms and reach their personal goals.

What is the first-line treatment for schizophrenia?

Antipsychotic medication is the foundation, usually combined with psychosocial treatments such as CBT, skills training, and family education. For first-episode psychosis, coordinated specialty care brings these together in one team.

What is the best medication for schizophrenia?

There isn't one best medication for everyone. Antipsychotics differ mainly in side effects, and people often try more than one before finding the right fit. Clozapine is used when other antipsychotics haven't worked, and long-acting injectables offer an alternative to a daily pill.

Will someone with schizophrenia need medication forever?

Schizophrenia usually requires ongoing treatment, and the right plan depends on the person's history and response. Decisions about changing or stopping medication should always be made with a health care provider, never alone.

Can schizophrenia be treated without medication?

Psychosocial treatments are essential, but for most people they work alongside medication rather than replacing it. The trade-offs are different for every person and belong in a conversation with their care team.

Key takeaways

  • The best treatment for schizophrenia combines antipsychotic medication, psychosocial treatments, and family support.
  • No single antipsychotic is best for everyone. Side effects differ widely, and clozapine helps when others don't.
  • Long-acting injectables are associated with fewer relapses and hospitalizations than daily pills.
  • Coordinated specialty care is the standard for first-episode psychosis, and early treatment leads to better recovery.
  • There's no cure, but at least one in three people with schizophrenia fully recover.

If you or someone you love is living with schizophrenia or showing early signs of psychosis, request an intake appointment. Our team will explain how an evaluation works and what to expect from the first visit.