Understanding High-Functioning ADHD in Women

We’re honored to share that Advancements with Ted Danson recently spotlighted Amae Health’s work in transforming mental health care for people with severe mental illness (SMI). This episode offers an inside look into our unique, outcome-driven approach that combines technology and compassionate care to support our members’ journeys toward lasting stability and a higher quality of life.

At Amae, we’re dedicated to providing more than just treatment. Our approach includes personalized therapy, medical support, lifestyle guidance, and a strong community connection. We’re committed to creating spaces where healing and growth are possible.

Catch the full story on Amazon Prime Video, Advancements Season 3, Episode 9, to see how we’re helping those who need it most.

If you or someone you know is in immediate danger or having thoughts of self-harm, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room. You can also call or text the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 for free, confidential support 24/7.

You're lying awake at 3 AM with your mind racing through tomorrow's worries, yet feeling too drained to care about things you once loved. Your heart pounds during everyday situations, but you're also pulling away from friends and family.

If this sounds familiar, you're not alone — anxiety and depression often appear together, creating a complex web of symptoms that can feel overwhelming. Understanding what's happening in your mind and body, recognizing the signs, and being aware of effective treatments can help you regain control.

If you’re wondering how to ask for help when depressed, start by choosing one trusted person, describing what you’re experiencing in simple terms, and asking for specific support. Professional help from therapists or mental health clinics can provide guidance when symptoms feel overwhelming.

How Are Anxiety and Depression Connected?

The relationship between anxiety and depression is more common than many people realize. Mental health professionals refer to this as "comorbidity" — when two conditions occur together in the same person. Research shows that about half of people diagnosed with major depression also experience significant anxiety symptoms, and vice versa.

These conditions often feed off each other in a cycle that can be difficult to break. Anxiety frequently comes first, with constant worry and fear gradually wearing down your emotional reserves. This mental exhaustion can lead to hopelessness and low energy characteristic of depression. Conversely, when you're depressed and withdrawing from activities, you might develop anxiety about your changing relationships, work performance, or ability to function normally.

The cycle looks like this: persistent worry leads to emotional and physical exhaustion, which triggers a low mood and avoidance behaviors, creating more situations to worry about. Understanding this connection helps explain why treating both conditions together often produces better outcomes than addressing them separately.

What Is Anxiety?

Anxiety is your body's natural alarm system gone into overdrive. While everyone experiences worry and fear sometimes, anxiety disorders involve excessive, persistent worry that interferes with daily life. The core features include hyperarousal (your nervous system staying "revved up") and worry that feels impossible to control.

Common anxiety symptoms include:

• Restlessness or feeling keyed up
• Racing heart or rapid breathing
• Difficulty sleeping or staying asleep
• Stomach upset or digestive issues
• Muscle tension, especially in the shoulders and jaw
• Difficulty concentrating due to racing thoughts

Anxiety disorders come in several forms. Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) involves worry about many different areas of life. Panic disorder features sudden, intense episodes of fear. Social anxiety centers on fear of judgment in social situations, while specific phobias involve intense fear of particular objects or situations.

What Is Depression?

Depression goes far beyond temporary sadness or "having a bad day." It's a persistent condition that affects how you think, feel, and function. The hallmark features include prolonged low mood, loss of interest or pleasure in activities you once enjoyed, and significant fatigue that is not relieved by rest.

Depression also commonly involves feelings of guilt or worthlessness, difficulty concentrating or making decisions, changes in appetite and sleep patterns, and physical symptoms like headaches or unexplained aches. In severe cases, people may have thoughts of death or suicide.

Signs You May Have Both Disorders

When anxiety and depression occur together, symptoms can overlap and intensify each other. You might notice both the hyperarousal of anxiety and the low energy of depression, creating an exhausting internal conflict between feeling wired and tired simultaneously.

Watch for these combined symptoms:

• Racing thoughts mixed with feelings of hopelessness
• Fatigue coupled with restlessness or inability to sit still
• Difficulty sleeping due to both worry and low mood
• Loss of appetite from anxiety alongside changes in eating changes
• Avoiding social situations due to both fear and lack of interest
• Physical symptoms like headaches, rapid heartbeat, and muscle tension
• Irritability that stems from both anxiety and depression
• Trouble concentrating, whether from racing thoughts or mental fog
• Withdrawing from activities you once enjoyed
• Feeling overwhelmed by everyday tasks and decisions

If these symptoms are affecting your work, relationships, or daily functioning for two weeks or more, it's time to seek professional help.

How Clinicians Diagnose

Mental health professionals use several approaches to diagnose anxiety and depression. The process typically begins with a comprehensive clinical interview where you'll discuss your symptoms, their duration and severity, family history, and how they're impacting your life.

Your clinician will also rule out medical causes, as conditions like thyroid disorders, heart problems, or certain medications can mimic anxiety and depression symptoms. Blood tests or other medical evaluations might be recommended.

Many professionals use brief, standardized screening tools like the GAD-7 for anxiety and the PHQ-9 for depression. These questionnaires help quantify symptom severity and track improvement over time. At Amae Health, our clinicians combine thorough interviews with these validated assessments to ensure accurate diagnosis.

Getting a clear diagnosis is crucial because it guides treatment decisions. When both conditions are present, integrated treatment approaches that address the relationship between anxiety and depression tend to be most effective.

Evidence-Based Treatment for Anxiety and Depression

Psychotherapy

Several types of therapy have strong research support for treating anxiety and depression together. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is often considered the gold standard, helping you identify and change negative thought patterns that fuel both conditions. You'll learn to recognize cognitive distortions — like catastrophic thinking that worsens anxiety or all-or-nothing thinking that deepens depression.

For anxiety specifically, exposure therapy gradually helps you face feared situations in a safe, controlled way. This reduces avoidance behaviors that often contribute to depression as well. For depression, behavioral activation focuses on gradually re-engaging with meaningful activities, which can also reduce anxiety by providing structure and accomplishment.

Medications

Several medications effectively treat both anxiety and depression simultaneously. Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs) and Serotonin-Norepinephrine Reuptake Inhibitors (SNRIs) are typically first-line treatments because they address the underlying brain chemistry involved in both conditions.

These medications typically take 4-6 weeks to show full benefits, although some people may notice improvements earlier. Common side effects may include initial nausea, headaches, or changes in sleep patterns, but these often improve as your body adjusts. Your prescriber at Amae Health will closely monitor your progress, adjusting dosages as needed and watching for any concerning side effects.

It's essential to work closely with your healthcare provider throughout the medication process, as finding the right medication and dosage can be a time-consuming and patient process.

Lifestyle & Skills

Lifestyle changes play a crucial role in managing both conditions. Maintaining a consistent sleep schedule helps regulate mood and reduce anxiety. Regular exercise — even just 20-30 minutes of walking daily — can be as effective as medication for mild to moderate depression and significantly reduces anxiety symptoms.

Limiting alcohol and caffeine helps stabilize mood and reduce physical anxiety symptoms. Simple coping skills can also make a significant difference:

• Deep breathing exercises to calm your nervous system
• Grounding techniques using your five senses during anxiety spikes
• Setting aside "worry time" to contain anxious thoughts
• Progressive muscle relaxation to reduce physical tension

For individuals who don't respond adequately to standard treatments, options like Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS) may be considered as additional treatment approaches.

When to Seek Urgent Help

While anxiety and depression are treatable conditions, certain warning signs require immediate attention. Please seek emergency help if you or someone you know experiences suicidal thoughts, plans, or intentions, self-harm behaviors, inability to care for basic needs like eating or hygiene, signs of psychosis such as hallucinations or delusions, or dangerous substance use that puts safety at risk.

How Our Amae Health Clinic Can Help

At Amae Health, we understand the complex relationship between anxiety and depression and offer comprehensive, integrated care. Our approach begins with a same-week evaluation where our experienced clinicians conduct thorough assessments to understand your unique situation.

We then develop personalized treatment plans that may include therapy (or group therapy), medication management, or both, depending on your needs and preferences. Our team coordinates care to ensure all aspects of your treatment work together effectively, addressing both conditions simultaneously rather than in isolation.

We accept most major insurance plans and offer telehealth options for convenient access to care. Our goal is to help you not just manage symptoms, but rediscover joy and confidence in your daily life.

Ready to take the first step toward feeling better? Contact Amae Health today to schedule your comprehensive assessment and begin your journey toward improved mental health.

Medical Disclaimer

This blog post is provided by Amae Health for educational and informational purposes only. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition, treatment options, or before making any changes to your medication regimen.

Reliance on any information provided in this article is solely at your own risk. If you believe you are experiencing a medical emergency, call 911 (or your local emergency services) immediately.

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Quiet Borderline Personality Disorder is a subtype of borderline personality disorder in which emotional symptoms are directed inward rather than expressed outwardly. It involves hidden mood swings, emotional suppression, and social withdrawal.

Unlike typical BPD, which often includes visible emotional reactions, Quiet BPD is marked by internalized distress and self-directed feelings. Recent research highlights this pattern as an "internalizing subtype" of BPD or sometimes "discouraged type", where individuals experience significant emotional challenges that may not be outwardly visible. In this article, we explore how Quiet BPD differs from classic presentations, why it can be harder to recognize, and what steps can support those affected.

Exploring Quiet Borderline Personality Disorder

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is typically associated with visible emotional outbursts, impulsive actions, and unpredictable mood swings. However, Quiet BPD presents differently. Individuals with Quiet BPD internalize their emotions rather than express them outwardly. Instead of outward anger or public displays of distress, they direct feelings inward, leading to self-blame, guilt, and deep-seated emotional isolation.

This internalization makes Quiet BPD much harder to recognize. The symptoms are hidden beneath a composed exterior, causing both the individual and those around them to overlook the struggle. People with Quiet Borderline Personality Disorder might appear calm on the surface while experiencing intense internal emotional turmoil. This contrast between appearance and reality can delay diagnosis and make sufferers feel even more alone, as they often believe their pain is invisible to others.

Key Symptoms and Signs of Quiet BPD

People with Quiet BPD experience intense emotional distress, but instead of expressing it outwardly, they turn it inward. The table below outlines the key differences between typical Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Quiet BPD, highlighting how the same underlying condition can present in very different ways.

Core emotional patterns of Quiet BPD:

• Chronic self-criticism: Persistent feelings of worthlessness and self-doubt.
• Shame and guilt: Overwhelming internalized blame, even for minor mistakes.
• Fear of abandonment: Deep anxiety about being left or rejected, yet fear of expressing these feelings.
• Emotional numbness: Episodes of emptiness and detachment from feelings.

Behavioral signs of Quiet BPD:

• Social withdrawal: Avoiding close connections out of fear of being a burden.
• Overthinking: Obsessively replaying conversations and fixating on perceived mistakes.
• Physical symptoms: Tension headaches, fatigue, and physical signs of chronic stress.
• Perfectionism: Setting unrealistically high standards as a way to prevent rejection.

Recognizing these hidden patterns is crucial. Quiet Borderline Personality Disorder might not be obvious at first glance, but the internal struggle is very real - and understanding these signs as well as causes and risks is the first step toward support and healing.

Causes and Risks of Quiet BPD

Genetic Factors

A family history of mood disorders or BPD can increase susceptibility to Quiet BPD. Genetics play a role in emotional regulation and sensitivity, laying the groundwork for potential challenges. Certain genetic markers are associated with heightened emotional responses, which, if left unmanaged, can contribute to the development of Quiet BPD.

Environmental influences

Early emotional neglect, inconsistent parenting, and invalidation of feelings are well-documented contributors to Quiet BPD. The 2022 case report describes how patients with discouraged-type BPD, which reflects the same internalized patterns seen in Quiet BPD, often report a history of emotional bullying and lack of familial warmth, fostering emotional inhibition and persistent feelings of inadequacy (Roman et al., 2024). These patterns teach individuals to suppress emotions and rely on internal coping mechanisms.

Trauma and adversity

Childhood trauma, bullying, or prolonged emotional stress can shape the internal coping strategies typical of Quiet Borderline Personality Disorder. Experiencing chronic criticism or emotional abuse teaches individuals to anticipate rejection and blame themselves for negative experiences. Rather than externalizing pain, they learn to internalize it as a survival mechanism, believing it is safer to turn their distress inward.

How Quiet BPD Affects Daily Life

Living with Quiet Borderline Personality Disorder often involves an ongoing emotional burden. Persistent self-criticism erodes self-esteem and leads to exhaustion. In the workplace, perfectionism and fear of failure may cause burnout or missed opportunities. Relationships suffer as individuals withdraw, fearing rejection or being a burden.

Social isolation becomes both a coping mechanism and a source of deeper loneliness. Mental health often declines as these patterns persist, increasing the risk of depression and anxiety. Despite appearing functional, individuals with Quiet BPD often cope with persistent internal emotional distress.

Treatment Options

Psychotherapy

Psychotherapy remains the cornerstone of treatment for Quiet Borderline Personality Disorder. Two main approaches include:

• Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): Teaches emotional regulation, distress tolerance, and relationship skills. Helps manage overwhelming feelings and build healthier patterns.
• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Focuses on identifying and reframing destructive thought patterns, promoting positive self-beliefs.

In particular, clinical research has shown that individuals with discouraged-type BPD - the clinical profile closely related to Quiet BPD - respond well to therapies that focus on building self-esteem and addressing internalized emotional distress. 

In addition to these approaches, therapy offers a consistent and safe environment where individuals can explore difficult emotions, understand the roots of their internal struggles, and gradually build healthier coping strategies. With time and commitment, psychotherapy empowers people with Quiet BPD to transform inner turmoil into personal growth and resilience.

Medication

Although there is no medication that specifically targets BPD, certain prescriptions can help manage co-occurring symptoms like anxiety, depression, or mood instability.

Common medications include:

• Antidepressants: Help manage persistent sadness and anxiety.
• Mood stabilizers: Reduce mood swings and emotional extremes.
• Anti-anxiety medications: Provide short-term relief from acute distress.

Medication is often most effective when combined with therapy, creating a balanced treatment approach. It’s important to work closely with a psychiatrist to adjust medications for the best possible support of emotional well-being.

Support Groups

Support groups create a vital sense of community for individuals with Quiet Borderline Personality Disorder. They provide opportunities to:

• Share experiences in a safe, understanding environment.
• Learn coping strategies from peers.
• Receive emotional validation and reduce feelings of isolation.

Support groups can complement professional therapy by reinforcing lessons learned and encouraging consistent self-care. The encouragement and solidarity found in these spaces can be deeply healing and empowering.

Mindfulness and Self-compassion

Mindfulness and self-compassion practices play a crucial role in managing Quiet BPD. These techniques include:

• Mindfulness meditation: Helps individuals observe their thoughts without judgment.
• Deep breathing exercises: Promotes relaxation and reduces anxiety.
• Body scans: Encourages awareness of physical sensations to ground in the present moment.
• Self-compassion exercises: Replaces harsh inner criticism with empathy and understanding.

These practices help break the cycle of rumination and self-blame, building emotional resilience and a healthier self-relationship.

Start Your Healing Journey with Quiet BPD Support

If you see yourself in these experiences, it’s important to remember that healing is not only possible - it’s within reach. Quiet Borderline Personality Disorder may make you feel invisible or misunderstood, but you’re not alone! 

At Amae Health, our compassionate team understands the unique struggles of living with internalized pain. We offer personalized treatment plans, emotional guidance, and a supportive environment where your story matters. You deserve care that meets you where you are - with empathy, patience, and expertise. 

Don’t wait in silence. Take that first step today and begin building a life rooted in self-understanding and resilience. Reach out to Amae Health.